This is a list of characters on the Adult Swim animated television series, Squidbillies.
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Voiced by Unknown Hinson, Early is the grandson of Granny and father of Rusty. Early is an illiterate, foul-mouthed, alcoholic ex-convict. He's also quick to anger, often expressing it in violent ways via sawed-off shotgun, knife, or whatever implement is lying around. This is likely so due to the abuse he himself suffered through the hands of his father (and possible incestuous grandfather) GaGa Pee Pap, and his insecurities he developed in prison regarding his masculinity. Early was given the position of CEO—and scapegoat—at Dan Halen Sheetrock, Inc, though he has since been relegated to various lower level positions including product tester. He runs a number of illegal home enterprises including the production of "pine cone liquor", the cultivation and distribution of marijuana, as well as production and sale of methamphetamine. It has been implied several times that he has an incestuous relationship with his sister, Lil (apparently without her consent, as she appears passed out in each instance). It is implied that Early was raped in prison in the episode,"The Big Gay Throwdown". Early is proud of his "hillbilly" lifestyle and enjoys hunting, fishing, "fruggin'", watching mixed martial arts, drinking "Party Liquor" (a myriad of intoxicating and potentially lethal "beverages"), and NASCAR. Early also wears different kinds of hats each with some form of joke or sexual remark. The hat he is mostly seen wearing is his "Free Hat Limit 1" hat, which along with his "Booty Hunter" hat (that he is commonly seen wearing in promotional material) appears to serve as his default choices of headwear. His skin turns a lighter shade of his usual green and then gray when sober, as seen in the episode,"A Sober Sunday". He is depicted as an enthusiastic Georgia Bulldogs football fan, as are most of the show's characters.
Voiced by Daniel McDevitt, Rusty Cuyler is the hybrid son of Early and Krystal, great-grandson of Granny. He is a dimwitted, abused, backwoods young squid. He seeks his father's approval in nearly everything he does, going out of his way to emulate and impress him. He has a better sense of morals than the rest of his family and will occasionally show compassion. Like his father, he exhibits stereotypical redneck interests and behavior. He is not, however, as naturally violent as his father, and often fails in his attempts to mimic Early's overtly prejudiced and myopic view of the world. Rusty exhibits facial similarities to the stereotypical redneck male: bad teeth, acne, and a mullet. He lost his virginity to his Uncle's wife in "Not Without My Cash Cow". Russel Jesse James Kenny the Gambler Rogers #3 The Intimidator Dale (uh) Earnhardt Kenny the Gambler Rogers America's #1 Cuyler is his full government name (Not Without My Cash Cow)
Voiced by Dana Snyder, Granny is an elderly squid, and the grandmother of Early and Lil; however season six hints that she may in fact be their mother as well, due to an incestuous tryst with Early's father GaGa Pee Pap. She is purple (in opposition to the rest of the family's pale green), hangs from a walker, and has only five tentacles for unexplained reasons. Granny is a devout Christian and regularly sees visions of "Squid Jesus", though like the rest of her family she does not shy away from violence or foul language. She is a skilled welder as revealed in the episode "Condition: Demolition." Granny is also an entrepreneur in Dougal county. In the episode, "Earth Worst", She stimulated the economy by opening a "MoonJump" powered by carbon monoxide exhaust from her Chevrolet El Camino. She is prone to becoming confused about her current situation and whereabouts due to her extreme senile dementia. Granny is also a nymphomaniac who propositions most of the series' characters for sex at one point or another. It is also implied that she has an incestuous relationship with Lil (also apparently without consent), and has encouraged Rusty to scratch her genitalia. She suffers from various health problems, including a failing gallbladder, but refuses to die (this may be due to her repeated attempts to hit-on Squid Jesus, who at one point was even shown ordering angels to restore her to life just so he wouldn't have to deal with her or her unwanted advances). She is apparently a published author, her book "E Is for Equine" making a brief appearance in episode five of season two. In "Holodeck Redneck", her holographic fantasy she kills herself with a shotgun and is buried in the cemetery.
Voiced by Patricia French, Lil is Granny's granddaughter and Early's sister, cosmetically challenged Lil wears Caucasian flesh-colored eye-shadow and extremely long fake finger nails on her tentacles (she also possesses a pair of nipple-less breasts, which Rusty, and viewers as well, assumed was her chin until it was pointed out to him in "Clowny Freaks"). She has dark blue-green colored skin. Her last name is confirmed to be Cuyler in the episode "Mephistopheles Traveled Below to a Southern State Whose Motto is 'Wisdom, Justice, and Moderation'". With a raspy voice often punctuated by a nasty smoker's cough, Lil' is a worn-out and rather jaded squid. She runs an on and off crystal meth and marijuana operation, and is a known user of her own products. It is revealed that cigarette smoke has replaced most of the blood in her veins; and that she also suffers from Hepatitis D. She is frequently seen passed out in her own filth and/or vomit; likely a victim of drug-induced burnout; however the fifth-season premiere shows this to be a ruse, with Lil using her periods of burnout as a decoy to prevent anyone from detecting her underground drug operation, which she dictates through a hole in their home's floor. During the time of her extended unconsciousness, she was married to an ultra-violent (even more than Early), America-hating extraterrestrial character named Lerm who decapitated her seconds after the marriage. She is shown to be having Aqua Blue eyeshadow and a blond wig with curls similar to Hedwig Schmidt from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which the creators admitted they are huge fans of. She can speak broken Spanish (a skill she uses in her marijuna growing operation. She is also truck stop prostitute (she admitted to being one in the episodes "The Good One" and "Clowny Freaks") and doesn't use protection (claiming her trucker clients don't like to use condoms) which resulted in her giving birth to several children in "The Good One", one of whom Early becomes attached to and later named Hershal Walker Cuyler (the rest of Hershal's brothers and sisters ended up being raised by Rusty). In "Clowny Freaks", she is also shown to prostitute herself at a child's birthday party (along with Granny) and even provided her services to the local carnival sideshow freaks when the trucker money dried up (it is also indicated by a comment made by Early that this may be another form of income for the Cuyler family, along with their drug operations, and Early's job working for Dan Halen).
Voiced by Mary Kraft, Krystal is Rusty's birth mother, a morbidly obese Caucasian woman who lives her life lying on a filthy junkyard mattress, where she had been deemed a local landmark and given "squatter's rights" to the location. She spends most of her time drinking from a re-usable over-sized "Sip" convenience store cup and scratching lottery tickets. Her extraordinarily promiscuous lifestyle (including having sex with Charlie Sheen and all of the members of .38 Special) caused problems during her brief marriage to Early. She had a Siamese-twin (who had apparently become trapped in Krystal's fat folds) named Amber Jean (making her Rusty's aunt), but she had her removed (and possibly died as the doctor used a katana) in "Krystal, Light".
Originally voiced by Charles Napier, until Bobby Ellerbee took over the role in "Butt Trouble", the Sheriff is the only regular human character and appears in virtually every episode. The Sheriff is a friendly, even sweet man. He has a close, amicable relationship with the Cuyler family due despite—or perhaps because of—having had to arrest Early repeatedly. Most of his role as Sheriff revolves around protecting the Cuyler family from their own destructive tendencies, as he has a sworn duty to preserve the last specimens of the "Appalachian mud Squid", so that further generations can appreciate "whatever it is they do". He is presented as a chain smoker and in real life, Ellerbee actually is too. Aside from his official duties, The Sheriff seems to really care about Early, going so far as to arrange couple's therapy for himself and his troubled squid friend. In the episode "The Big Gay Throw Down," it was revealed that the Sheriff may be gay. Also in that episode, he went courting with Lil. From time to time, Sheriff has appeared naked, in a Speedo, in a ballerina dress and in drag.
In episode "Survival of the Dumbest", the Sheriff reveals to Rusty that the Dougal County Sheriff's office is a front for the "Serpents in the Round", a shadow government run by Dan Halen and that The Sheriff is revealed to be one of multiple clones grown in man-stalks (similar to corn or bean stalks) capable of producing a battalion of nicotine-addicted super warriors with marginal strength and hyper-sensitivity to pain (though most resemble the Sheriff, others like Deputy Denny are shown to be malformed while another from "Big Gay Throwdown" was shown to a monstrous fanged brute). After revealing this to Rusty, The Sheriff realizing he had said to much tried to use a "mind worm" (his last remaining worm) on Rusty, however Rusty promised not to tell anyone about it, so the Sheriff allowed Rusty to leave without using the mind worm on him (however despite Rusty's promise not to tell, at some point before "Big Gay Throwdown" Early learned the existence of the Sheriff cloning field possibly from Rusty, the Sheriff, and/or one of his replacements.
In the "Big Gay Throwdown", it is revealed that the acting Sheriff in the episode is a homosexual who was possessed by a homosexual demon. After the demon is removed, The Gay Sheriff decides to move away to another state with a gay man he met at the throwdown (forcing the Cuylers to find a heterosexual replacement from the cloning farm).
The Sheriff being cloned by Dan Halen, is possibly due to him being maimed and killed constantly by the actions of Early and the Cuyler clan (and/or due to Dan Halen's tendency to replace opponents to his authority with a somewhat more obedient clone). They also provide Dan Halen (and Dougal County) with a somewhat cheap (as he may not have to pay them) and expendable police force which he has control over. The clones are grown in a corn field and during the first season a few of them are shown fighting over the position of the role of Sheriff. In more recent seasons, the normal clones (along with the deformed clone Deputy Denny) have been shown working as deputies under a main Sheriff. Basically all the full formed clones make up the entire Dougal County Sheriff's Office (a police force made up of entirely of Sheriff clones). In the episode, "Dead Squid Walking" it is shown that The Sheriff (the clone currently acting The Sheriff), Deputy Denny, and the other Sheriff clones are currently serving under the main Sheriff as deputies (this appears to give the current Sheriff more free time and take some of the work load off him). Dan Halen (as well as the people of Dougal County) appear to tolerate this arrangement as it provides him and Dougal County with a larger police force. However this arrangement may not be a recent thing as several Sheriff clones where shown to be working for Dougal county sheriff's office during Grandpa Pee Paw Cuyler's crime spree (it is possible that the number of clones actively working for the Dougal county Sheriff's office my have varied over the years).
The Cuylers appear to be somewhat aware of the existence of the clone farm (Rusty being one of the few shown to be fully aware of it as its existence was revealed to him in "Survival of the Dumbest"), but usually pay little attention to it (likely due to ignorance or simply viewing it as one of the facts of life in Dougal County). Early is shown to be well aware of it even suggesting they visit the cloning farm to find a replacement for the previous Sheriff who had left Dougal county to live with his gay lover in another state. Due to having known the Sheriff a long time, it is likely Early has become accustomed to The Sheriff being replaced every time he ends up being maimed or killed.
In "Class of '86", he is revealed to also have a violent temper as he blew Dan Halen's head off for bullying him repeatedly, marking it the second time in the series when Dan Halen has actually died. Incidentally, in both episodes the Sheriff has managed to survive the entirety.
In "Trucked Up", it was revealed that his real name IS Sharif. Although this could just be a joke based on what he said in "Sharif"
Voiced by Dave Willis, Denny is a clone of the Sheriff (albeit a tiny, malformed clone) that briefly served as the sheriff when the Sheriff asked Dan Halen to stop melting the flesh off the residents of the county during the season 3 episode "Sharif." He has poor impulse control, a large dent in his head, and was apparently replaced shortly after by another, more physically accurate clone. He has since been seen helping the sheriff with his law enforcement duties, by acting as his deputy. In season 5, he still serves as The Sheriff's main deputy along with several other normal Sheriff clones (basically making the Dougal County Sheriff's Office a police force made entirely of Sheriff clones).
Voiced by Todd Hanson, Dan Halen is a small, pear-shaped, knee-less, badger-like business tycoon. He is the incarnation of evil who has lived since the beginning of time, and personally controls almost every aspect of Dougal County (as well as most of Northern Georgia). He is in charge of Dan Halen Sheetrock International, a multinational corporation responsible for sheet rock, "dangerous" (rather than simply unsafe) baby furniture, selling arms to third world countries, several dangerous body sprays (one of which caused painful burning/swelling, another which could dissolve flesh on contact, and another which caused mass hallucination), and various other ventures. His name, hairstyle, and company symbol are direct references to the band Van Halen. He tolerates the presence of the Cuyler family for reasons unknown, frequently involving them in his bizarre moneymaking schemes, and currently employs the grossly incompetent Early as CEO of Dan Halen Int'l for purposes of limiting his own legal liability as a result of his often disastrous and homicidal business ideas. The Cuyler family have, on several occasions, opposed him (at one point even suing him), however despite this he doesn't bother with replacing them or eliminating them (one possible reason is that he views them as too stupid to be of any threat to him). Another reason he tolerates their existence is that their tendency to cause mayhem, disorder, and/or be a general public nuisance to the people of Dougal County, which may serve as a distraction to the local people from Dan Halen's own more dangerous and down right evil schemes and illegal activities (the Cuylers may also serve as convenient scapegoats).
In "Survival of the Dumbest", it is revealed that Dan Halen runs a shadow government called "The Serpents in the Round" and one of its many fronts is the Dougal County Sheriff's office. The Serpents in the Round is also responsible for creating and maintaining of the Sheriff's cloning farm. It can be assumed that Dan Halen controls most of Dougal County via this shadow government.
He controls Dougal County mainly through manipulation (in "Young, Dumb and Full of Gums", Dan Halen whips everyone in Dougal County into a frenzy by telling them Barack "Hussein" Obama is putting "Fluoride" in the water supply to sterilize the town, despite the fact that Fluoride is there to prevent tooth decay). He also appears to have control over the local media as well (possibly the national media as well) as shown in "Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan Halen" when a news magazine reporter interviews and profiles Dan Halen. When the female news reporter tries to confront him about his past (such as his involvement with the Nazi Party or in the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ) and the fact he is the immortal embodiment of evil who has lived since the beginning of time, he kills her and she is replaced by one of the reporter's several clones (one that is more Dan Halen friendly).
Despite being one of the more (if not the most) intelligent beings in Dougal County, his plans and business ventures occasionally backfire (like in "Pile M for Murder") like in "Young, Dumb and Full of Gums" when his other business ventures (those relating to products that require chewing) suffered when most of the population of Dougal County (save The Sheriff & Rusty and a few others) lost their teeth due to the lack of fluoride in their drinking water (a direct result of his own actions and inaction). He is also at times shown (despite his intelligence) to be as ignorant as the rest of the population of Dougal County, his ignorance usually revolves around his lack of understanding science (which he refers to as a "cheap whore") and its limitations such as in "Webnecks" it is shown he had been trying to create artificial diamonds (to replace his teeth with diamonds in order to obtain "street cred") by indiscriminately smashing coal (creating nothing but hazardous coal dust), only to be corrected by a self-aware computer that heat & pressure are required to make diamonds. His greed has even led him to being killed by his own cornzu creation in "Mud Dazed and Confused", with the Sheriff, a character who is frequently killed, ironically surviving the entire episode albeit with a corn tattoo on his cheek he was told was temporary. In the episode "Gimmicky Magazine Show", Dan Halen is criticized for his industrial powered hair drier that runs on "clean buring Styrofoam".
Despite his control of Dougal County and its citizens, several of them (such as The Sheriff, Rusty, Lil, the Doctor, and the Reverend) have questioned both his authority and his plans at various times (usually for reasons involving either morality, public safety/welfare, or logical), however Dan Halen usually manages to convince them they are wrong/mistaken through either some form of trickery or removing (either demoting or killing) them (in the case of the Sheriff and the news reporter from "Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan Halen", replacing them with a more obedient clone). He has also had his plans to capture Deep Fried Pine Booby thwarted by an advanced robotic decoy created by a militia of highly intelligent Pine Boobys who left Dan Halen, The Sheriff, Early and Rusty (who came to rescue the decoy they thought was real) tied up in Dan Halen's burning factory.
In "God’s Bro", his elderly wheelchair bound mother is briefly seen as he pushes her into a black hole (claiming it's a rest home) never to be seen again. She is also voiced by Todd Hanson (possessing the same voice as Dan Halen) and only has one line (commenting "It's dark in there," referring to the black hole). His mother is the only member of Dan Halen's family to appear so far.
Voiced by Scott Hilley, Reverend is a blue preacher shaped like an obese teardrop and clad in a purple stole vestment. He presides over the church the Cuyler family and the sheriff attend, and also owns the local mattress store where Early was previously employed. He is fearful of the Cuylers, questioning where they fit in "God's plan." He is a figure of religious hypocrisy because of his regular moral crises and occasional submission to temptation. In one episode he didn't get admitted to Heaven (despite the admittance of nearly every other resident of Dougal County) prompting the question of whether he is living up to his religion. Along with his religious hypocrisy, he is also religiously intolerant of things he views as wrong (Harry Potter books & movies, Halloween, scientific experiments, and the selling of liquor on Sundays), though he has been shown to support abortion (when he wanted to destroy squid eggs laid by Rusty via asexual reproduction in "Butt Trouble") and the death penalty when it involved a member of the Cuyler clan (whom he refers to as "Nothing but a bunch of thieving drunks!"). His hatred of the Cuylers may be due to Early's grandfather, Ga Ga Pee Pap's theft of the Reverend's prized Clay Aiken CD box set. This was the Reverend's main reason for supporting his execution (despite the fact Ga Ga Pee Pap had never killed anyone or done anything to deserve the death penalty) in the episode "Dead Squid Walking." When questioned by Rusty over the apparent hypocrisy of his position, he tries to use made up and misquoted biblical texts to justify his position, but gives up when Rusty brings up the commandment "Thou Shalt Not Kill" and angrily reveals his desire for Ga Ga Pee Pap to die for stealing from him.